I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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