we're blogging at a bar
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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