white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
