He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i dont even know how to be here
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
