hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
