Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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