I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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