I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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