A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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