Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
