Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize