SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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