i barfeds in our rink
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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