I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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