You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
