I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
