Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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