2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How does it feel to date your dad?
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