Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
