I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
handjob tips. give me some.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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