Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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