and you said cock pushups were impossible
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
