last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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