I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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