Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
