Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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