he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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