Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
