Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
