I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
