bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
