I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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