my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I can't put those talents on a resume
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
