So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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