By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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