Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
