Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
