How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
why do cheetos always look like penises
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
