There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
