At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
