I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
