ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
