People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
