I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
this boner is exhausting
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
