i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
