I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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