Kiss
Puke
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
