are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
