Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
