If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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