omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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