it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
