i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
