that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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