That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
