he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
