Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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