he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize