**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I AM VODKA MAN
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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