His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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