Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Randomize
