Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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